Famous Last Words...

Two weekends ago, over Labor Day, my sister Amanda and I were texting. She asked me what my next blog was going to be about and I told her something like I had an idea but I wasn't sure that I was going to write about it so I would text her when I wrote my next one. Tuesday afternoon, I text her and told her that I had just written a new blog. I said that it wasn't what I was planning on writing but it just happened.

The last words of my blog went like this: "And yes, I will be thankful for what I don't have...and I will never ask for a different ending because I fully trust that God has written it exactly as it should go."

That was 12:45 in the afternoon. 11 hours later began the start of the hardest week of my life. My sister had had a severe asthma attack at work. At first it appeared that she was going to be ok but Wednesday morning's EEG and MRI proved otherwise. We were in for a battle. On the way up to Phoenix I prayed that I would have a supernatural faith in God, that He would give me trust in Him that I had never known I was capable of. We prayed over Amanda for 7 days.

In those 7 days, God sent strangers to pray with me. A nurse grabbed my hand and said a quick but meaningful prayer. The guy who came from the prosthetics company to put boots on Amanda shared stories of miraculous healings and prayed over her with me. I was sitting outside of Starbucks and a guy and girl pulled up and came to talk to me and said that they saw me and were urged to come pray with me. These people encouraged me, and reminded me that God can be glorified through miracles but He can also be glorified through death, as He was with Christ.

Wednesday afternoon, a week after Amanda had gone into a coma, I was still whispering in her ear, "Talitha koum". I was still so completely (supernaturally, for me) trusting that God could heal her. I was also completely and supernaturally trusting that if He did not heal her, that it was His perfect will.
Wednesday evening at 7:49, I said good-bye to my sister for the last time. And all I could think was, 'Lord, you have written this story. Who am I to ask for a different ending?' I prayed for supernatural faith and trust, and I got it. I did not waiver in my belief that God could heal her. I still believe that God could have healed her. But I also believe that because He didn't, that this was His plan for her. That in her death, God can be glorified. God has promised us sorrow in this life, but He has also promised that all things work for the good of those who love Him.
I will miss my sister. I will miss her gorgeous light green eyes. Her contagious smile and laugh. Her love of all things purple, sparkles, and rhinestones. Her glitter nail polish. The way her car smelled. Her ability to call you out with such truth and wisdom. Her hugs. Our inside jokes. Our off-key renditions of Garth Brooks, WhiteSnake and Boston songs. Our texts, and emails, and unspoken understanding of one another.
If you knew her, you loved her. And if you didn't know her, I hope you know the one true God, so you will get to know her one day.